I have been a screw up my whole life.
No, seriously. I am not trying to have a pity party…I really have screwed up my whole life.
Okay, okay, we all have, but I have been particularly good at it. Let me explain.
In high school, I did so bad my last 2-3 years that I almost did not graduate. Then, after actually graduating, there was the reality that I did not have the grades to get into college…anywhere. So I joined the Navy.
I joined the Navy as a CTI, which is a really “cool” job where you learn a language and other “cool” stuff and I hated it. So, of course, I failed out and then got sent to a ship in Norfolk, Virginia, which, in case you were wondering, is NOTHING like California.
After a couple of years in Virginia, I became a Christian and that is when life really got tough…weird right? I started to learn how to follow Jesus and do certain things and pray certain ways. I even learned another language.
Yes, Christian-ese. Trust me, it is real.
So I began to try to live my life for Jesus, but I sucked at it. I mean seriously. I had to stop cussing and drinking as much among other things.
So, wait, I can’t just say that I love Jesus and do whatever I want? Crud.
So I started making mistakes…BIG ones. It all started after my first Christian relationship ended.
I jumped right off of the high-dive into a pool of sin and what is worse? I enjoyed it.
After getting caught and called out I began to get angry. I was blaming everyone and everything but myself.
You see, I was forgetting that I am the common thing in my life…What I mean is that all of my problems and bad situations had one thing in common: Me.
When you take ownership of the crud in your life, it forces you to do something about it, but we do not always want to do that. In fact, I am willing to bet that the last time you were in a crappy situation you blamed everyone and everything but yourself. You were not willing to ask, “What did I do wrong?”
Pause. Just for the record, I know that some of you reading this might have had something horrible done to you..something that was not in your control. I am not talking about you. You did not deserve that and it was not your fault. You were a victim.
I am talking about the stuff that we can avoid.
Looking at porn on your computer. Letting that girl or guy sit on your bed late at night…Alone. I am talking about the way that you act in relationships that cause them to plummet like a meteor into the surface of the earth.
I was an EXPERT at this, until I asked for help.
What would your life look like if you owned up to the fact that you are in a bad situation because of your own bad choices and not because of anyone else? Or, if there is someone else, admitting that it takes TWO to tango?
In order to stop repeating the same mistakes, you have to admit that there is something wrong and that you might possibly be the sole reason that it continues to happen.
Get a mentor. Ask for help. Reflect on what you have been doing.
For me, it took finding 1-2 people and being brutally honest with them about my struggles, identifying what my goal was to change, and then setting up a plan to make that goal a reality.
Has it been easy? No!
Have I screwed up? Yes!
But there has been real progress and people loving me through it all.
All it takes is one conversation…one moment of sitting back and reflecting on what mistakes you keep repeating.
You are only one decision away from improving your life. Or destroying it.
The choice is yours.